That Goes Without Saying

I love my son. I guess that goes without saying. He was my constant companion for many years. I raised him mostly by myself. His father left when he was about eight. He, my son's father, was plagued with demons that show up occasionally in J. Now that he is thirty-one I suppose we have a good relationship. We talk; if he asks, I advice. He doesn't often heed my advice. Sometimes, he thinks I am old and out of touch with the "community." I guess I have lost some cool points following the path that I have, but I know that he respects me.

The other day, we had a heart wrenching conversation. Not so wrenching for him, perhaps, but for me. He told me that he was sorry. He was sorry for not making me proud of him. You see he was a troubled teenager, was smart but hated school. He just couldn't seem to get things together in the classroom. To top that off as a teenager he never seemed to want to hear anything I had to say. I was struggling with my own issues at the time trying to find my own way.  This mixture of my issues and his hate for school didn't do my son much good. So, he didn't go to college and has struggled for years waiting tables in restaurants. I am proud of him; he is trying to make his way. It is just hard to watch him navigate things that could have been avoided. I know I sound like all parents.

The thing I am most proud of is that he is a good father. When the relationship between him and the mother of my grandson didn't work out, he went to the courts and petitioned for partial custody of his baby boy and it was granted. J is determined to be a key player in his son's life. So, he keeps LJ half of the week and the mother has him the other half. My son even moved down the street from his son's mother so that it would be easy for the two of them to share custody.  My son loves his son. You should see them playing basketball together.

I am also proud of my son's work ethic. He has been working since he was fifteen years old and is a good worker. He is now being trained for a management position at his current job. I know he will do well.

I love my son, that goes without saying. I am also proud of him. My prayer is that he will continue to grow, learn, be the father that his son needs, a man the world respects and the person God calls him to be.

What do you want for your children?